For a change, I’d like to start at the back of this edition, with our Firezone article on lessons from The Bachelor NZ, with Ingrid Barratt suggesting some dos and don’ts of dating. Many of these are contrary to what we saw as Art Green made his way through his Bachelor harem before offering his final rose to Matilda Rice.
According to Timothy Keller, author of The Meaning of Marriage, one of the challenges for people looking for marriage partners today is that our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy and personal fulfilment the highest values in life, whereas Keller says that ‘thoughtful people know deep down that any love relationship means the loss of all three’. He writes, ‘You can say, “I want someone who will accept me just as I am,” but in your heart of hearts you know that you are not perfect—that there are plenty of things about you that need to be changed, and that anyone who gets to know you up close and personal will want to change them.’
Keller adds, ‘Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of creating character and community but as a way to reach personal life goals. They are looking for a marriage partner who will “fulfil their emotional, sexual and spiritual desires”. And that creates an extreme idealism that in turn leads to a deep pessimism that you will ever find the right person to marry.’
And so, we return to the front of this edition and the story of Salvation Army officers Majors Gill and Neil Waugh. As they confront the challenges of Neil’s cancer, Gill and Neil are drawing on their deep love for one another and their trust of God.
I’m sure our readers will want to pray for Gill and Neil—some of you already are. And dating couples may like to consider their example, to remind them of the importance of looking for someone who will stick by them in the good and the bad times of life. And whom they have no qualms about offering the same commitment to in return.
Christina Tyson
Editor
Psalm 71:5 Contemporary English Version
‘I depend on you, and I have trusted you since I was young.’
Ngā Waiata 71:5
‘Ko koe nei hoki, e te Ariki, e Ihowā, tāku e tumanako atu nei, tāku e whakawhirinaki nei nō tōku tamarikitanga ake anō.’