Issue 18 – When people change churches

 

Dear Des

You ask why many people change churches today.

People have been changing churches in significant numbers for over 40 years—ever since Charismatic Renewal changed the way people saw church.

In the early years of Renewal, many middle-of-the-road evangelical churches found that the number of people who came to them from churches opposed to Renewal equalled the number who left them to join more Charismatic churches. And although the issues have changed in the years since, many NZ Christians still change churches.

By the time George Barna wrote his 1990 book, The Frog In The Kettle, the same trend was well established in the States—although some of the issues were different. Nevertheless, by 1990, ninety million American adults had been (what Barna calls) ‘church shopping’—the majority leaving “their existing church home to be part of the ‘happening’ church” down the road.

And since changing churches has now become so widespread, this brief article explores some of the reasons why NZ Christians change churches—so leaders can address the trend and grow the people who attend their church to full maturity in Christ.

Starting with the simplest and most obvious reasons, here are brief notes on some of the (often inter-related) reasons why people change churches.

1. Going where the action is

Some (perhaps many, if Barna is right) change churches because they love to be where the action is—especially if there is something exceptional about their new church’s preaching or praise and worship.

During the turbulent days of Charismatic Renewal, many pastors in smaller suburban churches found that some of their best people regularly attended rapidly growing Charismatic churches at night—some later joining these churches because they wanted to be where the action was.

This was understandable to a point because we all like to be where the action is—whether it’s church, sport, business, or other things. But if we’ve joined a local church we also have responsibilities, especially if we’ve become leaders. Patrick Johnstone says that Charismatic Renewal had a greater impact here ‘than on any other English-speaking nation’; and the movement of people between churches sometimes made it incredibly difficult to grow smaller churches when some of their best leaders left them for other ‘happening’ churches.

The issues are different now, but people still change churches because they like to be where the action is. So leaders shouldn’t be surprised when it happens (as it does elsewhere in the west), and should rise to the challenge of putting on the very best services they and their team are capable of—lifting the bar higher and higher.

All over NZ, people are changing churches because they love to be where the action is.

2. God tells them to move

Some change churches because they believe God tells them to move—and as I’ve noticed over many years, this expression of church changing comes in different shapes and sizes.

Perhaps the most noticeable thing about these well-meaning friends is their tendency to say to those they’re leaving, ‘the Lord told me’ to make the change—meaning that their decision to leave is now beyond the point of discussion because God told them to leave. Had they softened their claim to, ‘I believe the Lord is telling me to leave’, we could have had helpful discussion that may have led them to change their mind and stay. But when they use words like, ‘the Lord told me’, they put the impending change (and their perhaps changing their mind) outside the limits of discussion, sometimes with regrettable consequences.

J.I. Packer, who’s written prolifically on guidance over many decades, goes further, and says, ‘Actually this idea of guidance [‘the Lord told me’] is a novelty among orthodox evangelicals, not going back further than the last [19th] century. It has led good people to so much foolish action on the one hand, and so much foolish inaction on the other … that it must by now be regarded as somewhat discredited.’

Be that as it may, some change churches because they believe God tells them to—and since there can be no conversation about their leaving, wise leaders bless them as they go, knowing they may return later (as some do).

We gain nothing by confrontation; we may gain everything by releasing them to go and blessing them if we see them later. We’re not answerable for their relationship with God; we are answerable for our relationship with them.

3. The services are boring

Some change churches because they feel our services are boring and they’re dying inside—and regretfully, their assessment of our services may all too often be correct.

For example, their assessment may be particularly true in more mainline-type services where the minister may not believe many of the tenets of evangelical faith—as some mainline ministers indicate they don’t. Sincere and likeable as they may be, their lack of belief may come through in the services they lead, so that evangelical Christians may leave the services feeling they really haven’t met God at church that day.

But after 21 years on the road, I’ve found the problem is much wider; and we evangelicals don’t always deliver the top quality services that connect people with God and one another. In fact, I agree with Calvin Miller in his recent book Loving God Up Close that, if they could put it into words, ‘most people … would say that they long to feel the force of an Acts 2 Wind.’ So they’re hugely disappointed when we don’t deliver, and if we keep under-delivering (as some of us seem to), they may move to another church where their basic spiritual needs are met.

Leaders, we hold the key to this one, so let’s rise to the challenge and hear what these friends are saying. If we’re on the ball with our services, we’ll reduce the numbers leaving us on this count to a trickle.

4. Our leaders are inflexible

Some change churches because they find their leaders inflexible and opposed to change—and I’ve seen some bone-chilling examples of this over the years, especially in more mainline-type churches. In the worst cases, the lay leaders want to move on something critically important to the church’s progress, but the pastor won’t move.

People will only take this for so long; and if pastors won’t move, more and more of their best leaders leave the church and join churches that are more open to renewal and reaching people for Jesus.

This problem was particularly prevalent during Charismatic Renewal but it’s still fairly common today—especially in more traditional congregations across the denominations. The issues that people find their pastors inflexible over vary from church to church. But more often than not, they’re about the mix of songs we sing in church, the messages we preach and how we preach them, and the programmes we prioritise (or don’t prioritise) during the week.

Many churches have been getting few, if any, adult conversions for a long time—and it’s often the lay people who get restless about this first and want to change so they can reach more people for Jesus. As I’ve found, some pastors are extremely resistant to these changes; so one by one their best people leave them and join churches that are more open to change and reaching people for Jesus.

Some change churches because their pastors won’t buy into change—especially changes relating to reaching people who don’t yet know Jesus.

5. There’s nothing for our children

Some change churches because the church they attend does not (and in some cases will not!) prioritise ministry to children – especially running a ‘Children’s Church’ type programme during church time—and over the years I’ve seen dramatic examples of how all this works out in practice.

I’ve seen children kept in church a long time before they go out, with the boys gradually getting more and more restless—till Dad (an Elder) takes them out and disciplines them and they come back crying (what church memories to take into later life!).

I’ve seen young seeker solo mums with several young children stay away from church because it’s too much for them to keep their children quiet through the whole service; but when they hear the church will run a church-time children’s programme, they’re at church the next Sunday. And I’ve heard of enthusiastic Children’s Church children bringing their non-attending parents to church, with the parents later joining the church—and all because the children’s programme was so good.

It’s a fact of church life today, that more and more Christian and pre-Christian families are choosing their church on the basis of what the church can offer their children in church-time. Leaders who understand the times (1 Chronicles 12:32) respond to this challenge with great focus and urgency.

6. We didn’t feel at home

Some change churches because they’ve never formed meaningful relationships with other people in the church—so when little setbacks come, they drift away or try another church.

As in other western countries, newer people here are trying out churches in surprising numbers—and for a host of reasons. But it’s often their yearning for connectedness that prompts them to try out church over several weeks or months, only to look elsewhere if they don’t find the relationships they seek.

Robert L. Randall captured this brilliantly in his 1992 Abingdon book What People Expect From Church.

Randall says, ‘Today, and increasingly in the next [21st] century, individuals of all ages will look for a church home that creatively touches their deepest yearnings to feel connected. These yearnings—more than physical proximity to a church, community prestige of a church, denominational loyalty to a church, or family tradition in attending a specific church—will determine where persons choose to worship and serve.’

One smaller church I know of had 132 first time visitors in the 2005/06 church year—and if we use the formula Win Arn and later researchers used, 33% of the 132 should return and 75% of them should be assimilated into the church within one year. And as we saw in Leadership Letter 17, the best way to assimilate newer people is through the relationships people form with one another in great small groups.

People change churches today because they never really become part of the church they’re attending.

7. No one ever told us

Some change churches because they were poorly prepared for membership—in whatever form membership takes in the church they’re attending.

If newer people join a good small group soon after they start attending, it’ll go a long way towards ensuring their discipleship growth. But however good the small group is, it probably won’t get them up to speed with what this particular church believes, how it operates, why it does things the way it does, and what it expects of those who join it.

So early in people’s journey with their new church (whether they’ve come by transfer or as new Christians), they need several hours of creative teaching on what their new church believes, how it operates, why it prioritises the things it does, and what it expects of those who join it. Having a sharply focused church dream is a great help in this educational process—as are clear core values; and generally speaking, the better the job we do in introducing people to membership (in whatever form it takes), the fewer the problems we’ll have later on.

Preparing people adequately for membership and service in the local church prevents many a heartbreak later—and means fewer people will leave and try another church.

8. We’re starving!

Finally, and in some ways most importantly, some change churches because their church shifts its Sunday morning focus from growing their Christians to reaching seekers who don’t yet know Jesus—in the worst cases, leading to churches haemorrhaging as unsettled Christians (and even leaders) leave to go to churches with ‘meatier’ songs and sermons.

In less serious cases, believers stay loyal to the church but attend less frequently; so even sizable churches that prioritise seekers on Sunday morning don’t get much larger—because although people come to faith, some established Christians don’t attend as much as before.

So this group of people reminds us of four critical things we need to remember about how church should be done on Sundays.

1. First, we know that Sunday morning from 9.00am to 12 noon is still far and away the best time for Christians and pre-Christians to attend the average church—start at 8.30am and you’ll get fewer than starting at 9.00am, finish after 12 noon and you won’t reach as many seekers. So churches that shift feeding their Christians from Sunday morning to Sunday evening get far fewer out at night—because Sunday morning is still people’s preferred time for attending church.

Some NZ churches that prioritised reaching seekers on Sunday morning went as far as leaving out all but the most ‘seekerish’ songs, the Bible reading, normal church prayers, and any mention of God in the first part of the sermon—so naturally the Christians wandered because there was nothing at church for them.

2. But second, this was never the NT way of doing church. In 1 Cor 14:23-24, where Paul discussed the then-pressing local issue of tongues and prophecy, he made it very clear that he expected to see three groups of people at church on Sundays in Corinth—and he mentioned all three groups twice in two verses to drive his point home.

He obviously expected to see the believers there—the ‘whole church’ and the ‘you’ he mentioned. He thought it likely that their exact opposites would be there— ‘some unbelievers’ (they still attend!). And he expected to see a curious group there that may have been quite large in pagan Corinth, the people in between, who the NIV text note correctly refers to as ‘some inquirers’ (our seekers). Now, says Paul, when ‘the whole church comes together’, don’t do anything that will exclude any one of the groups—because ‘the whole church’ gathering is for all of them. So if they’re at church, or you’re expecting them to start attending, you should minister to all of them.

In fact, I’ve often said to leaders recently that once you get your mind around this NT way of doing church, it’s actually quite easy—so that in the average Sunday morning service we should be able to feed the most advanced Christians and the newest seekers at the same gathering.

That’s exactly what Willow Creek Community Church is now attempting to do at weekend services as they move away from their once famous seeker services (for more information on their shift, get Defining Moments CD DF0611 Can Willow Change?) They’re changing—and we can change; and as they’re finding, we’ll be far more fruitful when we do. It’s just a question of focus and application.

3. Third, this ties in with Rick Warren’s strong belief in ‘The Evangelistic Power Of Worship’ – when worship’s done well, it has huge converting power for seekers. Ravi Zacharias goes further and says that one of the greatest mistakes the Church has made in recent history is to underestimate the power of a great church service in advancing the gospel. So unless you’re a niche market church, go for all three groups—and do it on Sunday mornings when people, and especially families, are most likely to attend.

4. Finally, the fourth thing to remember with the ‘church balancing’ question is that every year we lose more leisure time as people work longer hours and cram more into their lives—just as they’re finding at Willow Creek Church. This means they have less discretionary time to come along and see what we’re about (long ago, between 1973 and 1990, the average American lost 37% of their leisure time – and how much more would they have lost since!). So all this means that if yours is an average church, Sunday morning is your best time to grow your believers and reach your seekers—and all at the same service, as effective churches are doing more and more.

Some change churches, because their church shifts its Sunday morning balance too far towards reaching seekers, leaving Christians unfed and without great worship songs to grow their faith.

Wise leaders minister well to Christians and seekers at the same service—so seekers come to faith (as larger numbers are doing again at Willow Creek) and Christians grow in their faith and don’t wander.

Countering the church changing trend

In 2004, Willow Creek Community Church surveyed 15,000 attenders and 500 people who’d left Willow—to grapple with the best way to do church at the beginning of the 21st Century. The results were startling.

First, they found it wasn’t new Christians with pre-Christian contacts who were their best evangelists—it was their best and most advanced Christians who were using their spiritual gifts. But perhaps the biggest discovery was that it was this same group of advanced Christians who were most likely to leave Willow because it no longer met their needs—not even at New Community during the week (where attendance has apparently been falling).

So Willow moved to give both seekers and believers the best ‘God experiences’ they can give them at weekend services—interestingly, with more baptisms than they’ve had in years!

Willow was wise; and if we’ve been under-feeding our believers on Sunday mornings, we should do the same—because great God-honouring church services are still the cornerstone of growing great Kiwi churches.

If you get church right on Sunday mornings, many of the other issues will fall into place.

When people change churches

Des, don’t be downhearted about the two couples that left you to go to other churches.

People have been changing churches as far back as I can remember—and especially since Charismatic Renewal came to our country. No doubt there are restless Christians who find it difficult to settle in a local church, but through 40 years of ministry I’ve found their number to be comparatively few.

Most leave for other reasons, with perhaps the biggest group leaving to search for that Acts 2 Wind that Calvin Miller mentioned. And while we can’t create that wind, we know from 2000 years of doing church that there are certain things God blesses—like praise and worship that exalts Him, and life-changing preaching from His Word.

So give yourself to your public ministry like you’ve never done before—and although you’re young in years, you’ll soon be great in fruitfulness as many join you and travel with you.

We’re praying for you—and we’ll celebrate every victory with you!

Good-bye.

Gordon Miller
Church Growth & Development Consultant

To discuss at leaders meetings

• How many left your church last year to go to another church—and what percentage was that of your average Sunday morning attendance (tip: keep a detailed register of leavers if you haven’t till now)?
• Why did they leave—and what are you now doing to address the challenges they left you?
• Looking through the eight reasons I gave for why many leave churches, which of the eight are most challenging to you right now —and what will you do to address these additional challenges?
• And what specific things will you now do to make Sunday mornings ‘fly’ for Christians and those who don’t yet know Jesus (list them, and put names and action dates against each contemplated step)?

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Download Issue 18 of the Salvation Army Leadership Letter (PDF, 70KB)