You helped Rāwinea find a sense of self

Lasting change takes time and effort. Our parenting and lifestyle courses offer a framework and for some, like Rāwinea, an opportunity to find and hone the person they truly are.

I wasn’t able to look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t do that for 30 years of my life. It wasn’t until I got help through The Salvation Army’s addiction rehabilitation programme that I started to find a sense of self. And once I was on that healing journey, what really changed things for me, was the Positive Lifestyle Programme (PLP).

One of the seeds planted by the course is the power of positive affirmations. I started putting notes all over my mirror with kind statements about myself. And as I memorised and repeated them, which took practise every day, I started to see the truth in these things. Eventually, those notes were gone, and I could look at myself and believe in who I was looking at.

This programme has been instrumental in helping me find ways to care about myself, to know how to carry myself, how to communicate my needs and how to deal with feelings. I reached a point when I was aged 45, and realised I didn’t have a lot of people skills or life skills to deal with everyday feelings and situations. Finding that there are tools available and learning how to use them has helped me so much. And oh my gosh, pennies started to drop!

The programme is split into different aspects, and I think the ‘grief’ session was one of the most challenging. I realised all the stuff I’d been holding on to was either grief or anger, and a lot of it wasn’t mine to hold. Being able to sit in those feelings was the beginning of being able to let them go. It wasn’t easy, and in the past I would have cut and run, but I felt supported to push through.

I am strengthening my bonds with my adult children. I needed to be more present in conversations and I think my children appreciate it a lot. The more I stop trying to control things, the more they come to me about what’s going on in their lives. It’s been a goal of mine to be closer to them and to my grandchildren and it’s such a joy.

I used to think I didn’t deserve anything good in my life, but those damaging beliefs have changed or are changing. It’s helped me plan my future, especially the ‘goals’ work. I make better decisions and I’m better with money too. I used to be somebody who saw something and thought, ‘Yes, I need that. I must have it now.’ But PLP helps you to work out the steps to get there and find your why.

I am becoming my authentic self, and it feels good.

Photo: Rāwinea (right) with Robyn, lead programmes facilitator.